What is 'relationship anarchy'? The new dating trend that fights loneliness but has a big red flag

In a world where swiping left or right is the norm and traditional dating leaves many emotionally drained, a new relationship model is challenging everything we’ve been taught about love. Known as “relationship anarchy,” this trend is gaining traction among Gen Z and LGBTQ+ communities for its radical approach to connection—one that might just be a solution to modern loneliness, but also brings its own complications.

Redefining What a Relationship Means

Relationship anarchy is not about chaos or avoiding intimacy. It’s a philosophy that questions the traditional labels and hierarchies we place on relationships. Coined by Swedish writer Andie Nordgren, the idea encourages people to approach every connection—romantic, platonic, or familial—as unique and equal in value.

Rather than slotting people into roles like “best friend,” “partner,” or “spouse,” relationship anarchists aim to co-create bonds that suit the needs of those involved, free from societal expectations. There are no rules unless you decide on them together. No assumptions about exclusivity, no pressure to define the relationship, and no hierarchy that prioritizes romantic ties above others.

Not Polyamory—But Close

While relationship anarchy might resemble polyamory in its openness to multiple emotional or romantic connections, it takes things a step further. Polyamory often includes structure, such as primary partners or agreed boundaries. Relationship anarchy, on the other hand, rejects all predefined frameworks. It’s about autonomy, mutual respect, and designing your own blueprint for connection.

A psychologist says that the term stems from the idea of having “no rulers” in relationships—no set roles or expectations, only mutual intent. It’s not about avoiding love or commitment, but about defining them in your own way.

A Response to a Loneliness Epidemic

The appeal of relationship anarchy lies partly in how it addresses the growing sense of isolation in today’s world. According to a recent report from Feeld, a dating app catering to non-monogamous and queer communities, nearly 20% of young respondents said they had tried relationship anarchy. Many of them reported feeling less lonely and more emotionally connected, with deeper, more varied bonds than they had experienced through traditional dating.

The report also highlights how this model is especially popular among LGBTQ+ individuals, who often seek alternatives to heteronormative relationship structures that don’t reflect their realities.

But It’s Not for Everyone

Despite its promises of freedom and connection, relationship anarchy isn’t without challenges. The very absence of rules and labels can make navigating boundaries difficult. Feeld’s data shows that those practicing relationship anarchy were significantly more likely to struggle with conflict resolution and unclear expectations.

Some critics argue the trend could be an excuse for avoiding accountability. However, its supporters suggest the opposite: that it actually demands more effort and emotional clarity. Without scripts to fall back on, every connection requires honest communication and constant check-ins.

Relationship anarchy doesn’t reject love or attachment. In fact, it often involves deep emotional investment—but without the societal packaging. Commitments can take many forms: daily check-ins, shared routines, or simply being there when it matters.

As younger generations seek more flexible and authentic ways to connect, this model offers an alternative to the rigid rules that often define romantic relationships. But it also asks for emotional maturity, clear intentions, and mutual respect—qualities that can be hard to sustain without traditional guardrails.